Being 20!

This is quite a quick-write. Today is a day I really want to go to bed early (10PM is my new early) because I am quite tired and didn’t have a nap all afternoon. In addition, I've had to read a lot of articles and blogs recently while trying to write down key information. Research is work!

So this is a quick-write about what it feels like being 20! For those of you above age 20, you might relate to it. For those of you yet to be 20, maybe, your experience and realizations will be different.

At age 20, I actually began to think of how the next 10 years of my life would look like. Prior to age 20, I could try to think of it, but it never seemed serious. But here I am at 20 knowing 30 isn’t far away. Not at all. And what am I doing about it? IDK. I am working I guess and trusting.

At age 20, family has become more important than I ever imagined. I used to be excited anytime we had a family gathering. But now, this excitement is purposed: it has a reason. I get to be with my family (extended) and it has never felt better. The thought of seeing them fills me up with so much joy, sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me. Alongside the joy, I find myself monitoring how my uncles and aunties put in efforts to plan get-togethers just so they can keep in touch with each other no matter what. Setting aside differences and coming together to have a good time. This form of intentionality is amazing. Something I didn’t quite regard previously, but hey, I’m learning, I am growing!

Being 20 came with a genuine concern for others. I say genuine because I have always been concerned for others, but with my eyes open for how I would benefit from their excellence or greatness. But now, oh boy, I can just be so concerned about someone’s wellbeing or excellence that I don’t even care for my benefits. It was amazing the first time I realized it. I was gradually finding the bandwidth to look away from myself and care for others. It’s so amazing, very amazing. And even when the person realizes the care I am showing, I sometimes blush.

Being 20 came with patience. You know how children are always jittery? Well, that seems to be weaning off me now. I am not as jittery as I used to be. I am able to sit and process my thoughts, most of the time. It is not an easy thing, but as I said, I am growing. Patience to sit in the unknown and uncertainty also came. This isn’t pleasant all the time, but its soothing. 20 came with a better understanding of Matthew 6:34. This verse makes more sense everyday.

This might sound cliche, but being 20 came with a sense of purpose. It felt like I was gradually finding my place in God’s grand plan. Sometimes it doesn’t feel this way, most times. But there are times where I find so much joy in what I am doing in the moment, knowing somehow that it's not in vain. Well, it’s a path I am on and I have just reached stage 20!

And lastly, being 20 came with some financial prudence. Suddenly, I am much more aware of my spending. I have always been aware of my spending, but now it was sorta heightened. I knew where I wanted my money to go, knew how to deprive myself, sometimes, to save money.

At this age, I won’t say I understand it all. There is even more I don’t understand, but I am learning to sit with it. I am still finding feet. Still finding feet. And learning to enjoy the process of finding feet.

There is more I could write, but I need to sleep now. And if I hadn’t written this now, I would have probably forgotten about it by morning.

Pardon my grammatical errors if any.